Video: Uncertain

I've actually posted this poem before but I wanted to recite it and post a video because it's one of my favorites... I did a couple ad-libs too smh lol Hopefully you enjoy!



Uncertain


I’m at a loss for words
As if a robber was holding a gun
To my tongue
Screaming “Gimmie all your nouns and verbs!
Gimmie your thoughts
Gimmie your ideas
Gimmie your existence
Gimmie your personality
Gimmie your world
Two options:
I can have your words
Or I’ll elongate the pain in your soul’s stay”
Either way
I’m so unsure of what to say

My eyes bleed tears
My soul cries blood
A flash flood of emotions
Has demolished my sanctuary
My home
A force I’m unable to stop
Has twisted my cerebellum inside out
The little monkey has stopped
Beating its cymbals together
The hamster has jumped out
Its running wheel too
The truth?
I’m so unsure of what to do

Self-applied pressure
Enough to bust a hot air balloon
Is running through both of our veins
Only I took the needle
And injected you thinking it was
The right prescription
Wrong
How long can this last?
Your past isn’t as fast as me
A Realization hits me harder than
9th grade geometry
it’s not up to me
It’s you who has to decide

If the whole thing
Yes the L
The O
The V
And yes even the E
Is something you want or need

Because now I’m becoming
Uncertain
if I’m the person
we’re supposed to be

Hollywood On Broadway

A shining star
With smooth edges
And all 5 points

Beautiful
Caring
Intelligent
Charismatic
Funny

They call her Hollywood

She glides across
Each stage she walks on
Whether she's stepping or strolling
Or just walking down the sidewalk

Cameras always flash
when she's present
Her presence brings out
Amateur paparazzi

Hollywood is what they see

But Broadway is what she has been
Still is presently internally
And what she'll always be
To me

Gritty in the heart of the city
Able to adapt to any script given to her
Not worried about image or people's inquiries
All the drama is left on curb
Before she walks into the theater

Broadway is what I see in her

Only the rare few can truly appreciate her
The talent
The precision
The effort
The drive
The show
I hope she knows this though

Broadway is her spirit's freedom

The glitz and glam of stardom
Might be what's in today
I'm not knockin it though
Because it might be here to stay

But think about this
I love how
A lot of actors and actresses
Somehow find their way
Starring in a play
Bringing their
Hollywood On Broadway

Replacement Girl

My love left me

Cold
No jacket to keep
My heart warm

Old
No energy to keep
My spirit goin

But I'm bold enough
To get over it
And not let it control me

Not to mention I've found
Someone else to love
Unconditionally

As cheesy as it sounds
She completes me
And no not like Jerry McGuire
Or Dr. Evil & Mini-Me

She embodies
Almost Everything from a woman
That I at least think
I need

When I speak
She listens
When she needs attention
I don't have to guess
She tells me
Even if I feel
She's being a lil needy

She loves when I rub her down
When I take her places
I know it sounds gross
But she's forever tryin to play
"Kissy Face"

She's erased
Any thought of me being alone
And for that I am forever grateful

I don't know if this is permanent
It may be temporary
That's cool with me
For now she can be my world
I cherish love & adore
My replacement girl

A picture of my "Replacement Girl":

Superman's Song Of The Week

A Banger from the next Rookie Of The Year... J. Cole
An anthem for any one on the come up... Me
A song for the haters...
A personal song for me...
My theme music for the week...
Watch out... I'm bout to Blow Up

Song: "Blow Up" by J. Cole
Best Line: "Gary Coleman just passed... Life is short"

Welcome To Heartbreak

Where lives are burned at the stake
And feelings & emotions
Are as sensitive
As tenderized steak

Where l cannot make
An honest argument
Or debate
Because of all the brusing
And battering
My brain had to take

Welcome to heartache

Where my soul died
Where my spirit cried
Where my beliefs
My hopes
My dreams
My pride
Have all simultaneously
committed suicide

Matta fact
Call it genocide
Because any thought
Of goin back to bliss
Has been dismissed
Killed... In my eyes

Welcome to sorrow

Where there is no tomorrow
Where pain comes to my body
For its energy to borrow
Where although
There's a chance I might get out of this
I don't want to see it
I'm blind to it
I need to be rid of it
This feeling of hopelessness
This feeling of anguish
This feeling that love is bullsh*t
This feeling that life without you isn't worth it...

Welcome to ever after... Unhappily

The place I was left after what you did me
Where there's no peace
Where I can't believe anybody
That says you & me
Are meant to be
Where I don't want to be
Where I'm forced to be
But I don't have to be

I'll take the 2nd choice please

Welcome to redemption

Where revenge doesn't exist
Where the bus for my comeback tour is full
And there's no room for pettyness

Welcome to what I do best

Forgive
Yet
Never
Forget

Scrutinized (Nice Guys)

There's this saying:
"Nice Guys Finish Last"
It's untrue
We don't even finish at all

We're considered small
The "little man" is what we're called
The person who's mislabeled as not having balls
When our back's to the wall
Its wrong

I'm tired of this song
We're too considerate
Too literate
Not ignorant enough to be
Self-centered. It's
a trait we were born & raised with
We cannot fake it
We are made this
You, the World,
Both men and women
Hate us

Why?
Because I can naturally do what you try
Because I'm in touch with my emotions enough to cry
Yet still be a man
On my own two feet stand
And still help out anyone in need that walks by?
You use people as stepping stools
In order to fly
And I'm the one that ends up crucified?!?!

I
Am
A
Nice
Guy

I'm sorry
I apologize
That I don't pay attention the "m" or "e" in team
And I see that more than "I" is in the word glorified
My eyes have seen what this world's become
A planet undone and overrun
With corruption
With selfishness and hatred
Everyone wondering
How much money the next one's making
What am I not understanding?

What am I missing?
Why are people dissing anyone or everyone that has a heart?
When did it start to become a fad?
To not be good man
But to be a boy... That's (for lack of a better word) bad
I really don't get it
Its honestly sad

But hey: "Nice Guys Finish Last" huh?
I told you we don't finish at all
We don't stop... There's no finish line
We not even runnin the same race as yall
And here's a lil tidbit for ya
A startling statement
that'll shake ya
break ya ankles
making you stumble and fall:

God
is the nicest guy of us all

A Task Defeated

It's hard for me to write happy
It's difficult for me to express joy
It's tough for me to explain jubilee
That's kinda funny
Considerin that's not at all... Me

I love the fact that I'm positive
I live to be optimistic
I learned that no matter the life you live
Someone out there has it either better or,
The majority of the time unfortunately
Worse

Regardless if your hurt
Sad
Glad
Mad
Or gettin to the point
Where you want to end your own legacy
in a body bag
Understand there are more grueling times others have
Be appreciative for the things you had
And the things you're about to grab

God knows I have

I've got the power to smile through adversity
I've got the strength to laugh through pain
I've got the mental coat to stand happily in the tormental rain
And sustain a hope that one day
The sun shall shine again

There's a misconception
It's easy to sulk
It's less work to be down
However there's a saying
It takes more muscles in your face to smile
Than frown
Meaning although it seems like the appropriate emotion to show
Sadness & Anger are the weights that stunt your growth

Here's some advice to try
Laugh til you cry
Smile til it hurts
Love til you burst
And you'll
Live your worth

It's easy for me to write hurt
It's convenient for me to express negativity
But while I'm being attacked by enemies
It means more to live in prosperity

Hey, this is just the opioion of a believer
Who else out there is with me?

On Break @ Work (Boxing/Wrestling)

20 minutes until I clock in
But my the writer inside my brain is blocked in
Gotta think outside the box
Better yet outside the circle
Because if this were boxing
The place where my thoughts
Are fighting is called a ring

Ding ding
There's the bell
The thought of her never coming back
swings and connects hard as hell
With the thought of me being content with never finding a lover
Laughing & Taunting
Talking
"You can't have her...
You're gonna hate being alone...
There is no other"

I discover this is a dream
So this match of boxing
Is now tag team
Completing the transformation to wrestling

Slap!
Two new opponents are brought into the fight
Tusseling... Struggling
Fighting under the lights

The thought of me going home bodyslams
the thought of my funds being sufficent enough to take care of myself
Then screams as its opponent is down
Is wealth more important than mental health?

By this time someone's knocked out the ref
And its a free for all
More than just 4 thoughts going at it
The ring is now bursting at the ropes
In hope of settling this match
Someone brings the ref back
He senses the mayhem
He stops the madness
Then proceeds to clear the ring
While filling the crowd that's in attendance
(Who once were in disagreement)
with gladness

With 2 minutes left until I clock in
The writer inside my mind is no longer blocked in
He's free to roam around the ring
(Well today anyway)
After all the chaos that's insued
Metaphorically through
boxing & wrestling

Illumination

I used to be a light
Warm
Comforting
Flexible
Constant
Quick
Positive

Now? The candle has been blown
& it wasn't a birthday wish
It was goodnight
Goodbye
Time to close my eyes
And wait for the sun to rise
To wake me up

However that might not ever come
We're in Alaska
A flat freezing tundra with the only thing steady is silence and cold
Not to mention the sun only comes out for maybe a hour out the day...
Good luck feeling that long warmth again
Great job tryna find real love again
Hope things don't get too old again

Because unlike you
I can light my fire again
Only this time with a different match
A different friend
A different catalyst for my life that's needed

This is not human
But it is a person
I am His creation
And He is my Illumination

Waterfall

You ever think it'd be possible
To completely stop Niagra Falls?
The crazy thing about a waterfall is that it's
Ever constant
Ever flowing
Ever falling

That's me
Constantly falling in a flowing manner
That's my heart
Dropping 80-100 feet into an abyss
Those are my tears
Careening off a cliff
That's my spirit
Crashing into rocks at the bottom of its decent

The hook to "Coldest Winter"
Being blasted in my brain
"Will I ever love again?"
I rely on God and all He gives me is:

You are a wonder...
I created you for purpose...
You are natural...
Nothing compares to you on the Earth's surface...
You are an inexplicable anamoly...
People will label you with awe as well as negativity
Yet you are nothing less than a description of this:

Difficult to stop
Always flowing
Forever drawing people
Fufilling its need
Moving with power
Knowing that not just one human being can alter what gives it its strength
Realizing that it is what it is
Regardless of what one might make it out to be
That's all it can be:
Me

I am a waterfall