No Tears

It's been quite some time now
And just....

Nothing...

No waterworks of any sort

Nothing

But the blank stare
of guilt
Shame
And disappointment

I wish it would just happen already...
I wish the plumber would just come
And fix the pipes within
my tear ducts because
that's what I'm used to

I'm used to freeing my emotions
in any and every circumstance

I am but a mere man
But I'm a man
Who cries
Forget pride
Forget shame

I cry

When I'm hurt
When I'm happy
When I'm angry
When I'm scared
When I pray
When I sleep
When I love

I cry

But not today

I'll be damned
if there's not a dam
built behind my retinas
because I feel like
a natural disaster
just waiting to happen

As if both the
Japan & Haiti earthquakes
are in each one
of my lungs
and my heart?

My heart is a flooded New Orleans

Only my levees stand strong
preventing any rivers
of pain and suffering
to reveal themselves

You know what?

Perhaps this means something
Could this mean that
The little boy that I was
Who was picked on growing up
Who cried about everything
Who's still living inside me to this day
Could he actually be gone now??

I don't know

Maybe there's no tears
because I'm guilty
What a filthy feeling
that is

Ok...

Writing that line down
just made me wanna
shed some pain out
So I'm ending this
to let Niagra Falls go now