I Wonder

I wonder if you know what it means

That you still have dreams
Dreams about me dying
Dying in a blaze
or however many other ways
you've seen it in your sleep

You still have dreams of me
Or since they're death dreams
they're really considered nightmares right?

I wonder if you know what it means

What were my last words?
Did I scream?
Did I ask God to bring me home
in a golden limousine?
Did I perish slowly?
I bet I did

I wonder if you know what it means

You probably don't
but I do
You're blind to the reality in front of you
Your dreams mean
I'm literally dying before your very eyes
What you experience when you lose consciousness
is exactly what's happening on a daily basis

I'm not dying by accident
These are murders you are witnessing
Suicides actually
I'm killing whatever images you still keep of me
See that little boy you used to
know and control
is dead and gone now
It just took a couple times

Suicide attempts multiplied by 5
and that boy's breath still wouldn't subside
Until now
Until the dream felt so real
you thought I was really gone
Funny... because I am
and you don't even realize it
I've gone to a better place

and I wonder if you know what that means