New blog

Hey go check out SoopaDoopaPoet.tumblr.com!!!

That's all... I think I still might keep this one... We'll see

(Greg Shrug)

Soopa. Out.

Under Construction

Hello there! It's been quite some time since I've posted to this blog. I've been quite busy in Charlotte (I'll explain at a later date #GregShrug) Much has happened within the past year and the poetic and human growth that has taken place as a result is real. The following poems are some of the most recent pieces I've completed and edited that can attest to that. Hopefully you enjoy! Please leave a comment or two. I can take constructive criticism as long as you're not throwing shade. haha

Also, while these poems have been posted I'm currently in the works of creating an entirely new blog... Stay tuned for the announcement of the new site!

Speak life
DriveThru
and
See ya soon

Superman. Out.

My Kids, My Everything

The kids in my hood are my everything

It brings me joy when I hear their laughter
When they play games in the street
When they introduce each other to the new kid
When the ground shakes
from all the movement their tiny feet make
it brings a grin to my face

Although they have their biological parents
I'm everyone's Pop on this block
And my kids are my everything

So on those really hot days
When the steam is rising up from the pavement
When the heat from that fireball in the sky
proves to be unbearable
That's when I become
Popsicle Pop
Ice Cream Dad

Go to the fridge
Grab all the cool and refreshing treats
Walk outside
and pass them all out to
everyone that wants one

I'm not a kid kidnapper
or a really creepy dude or anything
I just love my kids and their laughter
and I want them to have everything
Because my kids are my everything

I've been here for as long as anyone can remember
So there's no secret about what I do
I do what I do
because I have the means to
As well as a humongous heart too
So it hurts twice as hard
When the group disperses
after receiving what's been given
and only one or two
will actually take the time
to look me in my eyes and say
Thank you 
Thank you for quenching my thirst 
For handing me the elixir 
that evaporates the evil in my existence 
You didn't have to do this 
But you do it anyway

I had a son myself some time ago
and he was taken from this world
from the very people I sought to help
This is no different from today
I love my kids and for their future
I'm hopeful
But it irks me when
they're ungrateful

I don't have to cool them down
I don't have to bless them
But I do
because they're my kids
and my kids are my everything

I just wish they'd be a little more appreciative
I just want a hug, a high five, something!
Don't act like I'm not here
Don't act like you got yourself out of the fire
Yes you have power and favor
because you know me
but don't abuse me

I'm here for you
but should I be
with all the trouble you get into?
Didn't think so
But regardless of the weather
I'll still be here
on the block
passing out popsicles of peace
giving out inspiration ice cream and
distributing hopes and dreams
just to hear my children's laughter

I can do that
because after all
I am God
and you,
my kids, are my everything

Killed Cats

"What are you doing?"

It's the question I get asked the most

when me and my "Rachel McAdams" are alone

I'm sure people don't mean to cockblock

but I don't think they've realized what they've stopped

I'm cool though

I'm kind though

So I tell them

"I'm writing poems"

The reaction is always the same

Wide eyes and short gasps occur

when they try to grasp the concept that

I'm doing what I said

It's almost like they don't believe me

Almost like I look like I shouldn't be

painting feelings to my canvas

No worries

No biggie

I've learned curiosity can be a muthaf*cka

and you'd be surprised how many cats I've killed

just for being nosy

Cut Off

"It ain't nothin to cut that b*tch off"

Am I wrong for liking that song?
Because truer words have never been spoken
A heart that's been broken
as many times as mine
has got to grow cold at some time

And here I am
Cold
Ruthless

No disrespect to women
but if you not about adding value to me
then the scissors have to appear
Sometimes this requires a spear
or a sword
Whores will never be associated with me again

The Noah in me has arrived

I'm striving to be a king
and a good king
has a great queen
I believe I've met one

So peasants and pretty wanna-be princesses
get lost
You might think you're a queen
But I'm witnessing one now
And it's that one unloyal and unroyal trait
that has gotten broads cut off

Celebration (May 21, 2014)

"You know what this is
It's a celebration b*tches!"

Are you ready?
No negative thoughts tonight
No worries about work tonight
Tonight is my night
and yours too

The whole crew's in here
This is my new years
Excuse me while I celebrate my life
Pardon me for being happy I'm still alive
You don't know my story
but I'm bathing in my glory

So put your drinks up
Cut the music up
I hope you left your f*cks and cares at home
Cause there will be none given or taken tonight

This is a celebration
Forgive your past
Appreciate the fact it didn't last past
where you are now
Forget what you're going through now
At least for tonight

No sad faces tonight
Your mind is only in one place for the night
Get right
Get live
Get Soopa
Get happy
Love life

Because it's my day
Your day
Everybody's day
and the celebration tonight
is here to stay

Pieces

My heart
My spirit
They're shattered glass
that's been scattered past
the sands and oceans

I wrote that in a poem once
Never did I think something I wrote
to describe myself
would or could be applied
to someone else
on this level

And then I met you

I caught it early too
I found it interesting how
the songs that played between us
the ones we verbally danced back and forth to
they all referred to that one past love

The one we were supposed to spend
the rest of our lives with
The one that had that kung-fu grip on our hearts
our lives

And without warning
without a disclaimer
without any gratitude
they let go
and lit the fuse
Then boom

Our worlds were obliterated
decimated, demolished
Even after we accepted the fact
we were bombing victims
we were still broken beyond comprehension
To the point where all that's left now
are pieces

I see a bit of myself in you
No not sexually
I'm lying
Definitely sexually
But I mean it more spiritually
We are puzzles left incomplete
Trying to figure out what the picture
that is our future is supposed to be

I don't know your whole story
and you don't know mine
and maybe we're not supposed to
But I do know I hope our pieces become intertwined
And I'm able to help you put yourself back together
and vice versa

We'd like to think they hurt us
No, they helped us
They were the storms that rained down on the soil
that was our souls
and moved away
so the sun rays can beam on us
and make us grow

I already see you as a beautiful tulip
but I believe you could one day be a tree
like me
or at least that's what I'm trying to be

Hopefully it's not for a short season
but our snapped shells met and melded together
for a reason
and for that
I'm eternally grateful
My mind screams at the top of its lungs

"Thank you"

You are not only a breath of fresh air
You're a sweet sigh of relief
Someone that understands me
when I wrote in a poem once

I'm a million piece jigsaw puzzle
waiting to be labeled complete

I Wonder

I wonder if you know what it means

That you still have dreams
Dreams about me dying
Dying in a blaze
or however many other ways
you've seen it in your sleep

You still have dreams of me
Or since they're death dreams
they're really considered nightmares right?

I wonder if you know what it means

What were my last words?
Did I scream?
Did I ask God to bring me home
in a golden limousine?
Did I perish slowly?
I bet I did

I wonder if you know what it means

You probably don't
but I do
You're blind to the reality in front of you
Your dreams mean
I'm literally dying before your very eyes
What you experience when you lose consciousness
is exactly what's happening on a daily basis

I'm not dying by accident
These are murders you are witnessing
Suicides actually
I'm killing whatever images you still keep of me
See that little boy you used to
know and control
is dead and gone now
It just took a couple times

Suicide attempts multiplied by 5
and that boy's breath still wouldn't subside
Until now
Until the dream felt so real
you thought I was really gone
Funny... because I am
and you don't even realize it
I've gone to a better place

and I wonder if you know what that means

Chivalry Isn't Dead

It's extremely rare
An endangered species
Dodo bird/Bald Eagle status

You barely ever see it
But when you do
you gaze upon it in amazement
Wondering how does this not
happen to me?

Chivalry is not dead

It just lives in the basement
in that one dark corner
that remains untouched
until it's needed
But it's always needed

Integrity is a ball made of pigskin
being tossed around a field
until someone scores
then spiked on a grass-like floor

Girls posing as whores
are being glorified
for showing their glory holes
Little boys posing as bosses
are being praised
for how much bread they toss

Chivalry is not dead

It's a little lost
Trying to find its place, its purpose
in a world filled with
"Ain't Sh*t A**holes" and
"Wanna-Be Bad B*tches"
It's sickening to me

Maybe I've been spoiled by what I've seen
I watched my parents
still love and cherish each other
after 30+ years of being married
So I guess I feel the need
to carry on that legacy

Call me Mr. Chivalry Murray
Opening establishment doors
Closing car doors
Financing first dates
Making sure she's not back home late
unless she want's me in her home late

I know dudes are gonna hate
because they can't do what I do
I know girls ain't gonna be attracted
because I'm something they're not used to

But I will remain true to who I am
and who I am
is not only a man
but a gentleman
85% of the time
The other 15% is reserved for bedtime
I'll save that for another poem

Chivalry is not dead

As long as ladies and gentlemen
still thrive
and honestly

Chivalry will never die
for as long as I'm alive

Just A Poet

I ain't much
I'm just a poet
I free my mind from time to time
Well maybe all the time

Maybe my notebook is a nightclub
and I'm the DJ
and I make letters dance together in their groups
to the thoughts I play
The crowd jumps off the dance floor
with every song I drop

But I ain't much
I'm just a poet

Well there was that one time
I took a trip to the moon
I flew there just to put
the our planet in my palms
I put bigger footprints in the moon's sands
than Buzz Aldrin
I had stars in my hand
and threw them to space
to cover the skies in confetti
Had myself a Lone Wolf Lunar Party
but I returned home

Because I'm just a poet

I ain't much
I'm just me

And sometimes my similes and metaphors
pour wisdom into souls
Sometimes my lyrics liberate countries
and free the enslaved
Sometimes I become a mass of
muscle and blood
and God is the puppeteer
Sometimes what I relay comes in clear
and other times comprehension
visits my listeners later

Sometimes I turn haters into believers
Believers into dreamers
Dreamers into overachievers and
Overachievers into angels

I am a poet
I speak, breathe, and eat life
Project strife into a cocoon
and birth it as a butterfly

I am just me
Gregory
An alien among humans
It just so happens that
I put thoughts, emotions,
struggles and triumphs
to paper

But if you ever get to know me
like really know me
you'll see that I'm so much more
than just a poet

Flames

They say "they always come back ya know?"
I say "If an old flame always comes back
then the fire was never put to rest
in the first place"

Everyone has a "The One That Got Away"
Everyone has a flame they want to play with again
And they completely forget how they got burned
or
Maybe they remember
Maybe the wounds serve as reminders
and no one really wants multiple third degree burns

So we stomp out campfires
cut off stoves
and douse out bonfires
in hopes that we can move along
without being blackened
by love's heatwave

Until a new match is lit
and for some reason
this fire looks a little different
It flickers in a way unseen
Crackles in a way unheard
And steams in a warmth unfelt

But again we forget it's still a flame

And once we come to the realization
of what's exactly in front of us
We like to play firefighter
Going into buildings set ablaze
to save whomever is in peril

9 times out of 10
It's our own soul that's laying down
Stuck under the table
Afraid to move because everything around us
is withering away before our very eyes
We already inhaled the smoke into our minds
and we don't wanna melt our hearts either

When it's over
When your world has turned to ashes
When your organs have healed
When your skin has regrown
It's understandable why one
might put back on
fireproof gear and walk alone

"Stay away from the flames," they say

I say "Old and New... True...
but it gets cold sometimes"

I say to anyone
If you want warmth in your life
If you wish to dance in the flickering lights
If you're a pyro who attracts that which makes you who you are
Then the only way you can love again
is for you to spontaneously combust

Become a flame
to another flame
and burn
Out

Together

One Year in N.C.

To Cuzo
For having a heart as open as the home she runs
For Panthers and Bobcats games
For Lexi
For a bed a roof and a shower

To my spiritual folks
For giving me keys to their house
For being more than familiar faces
For being mentors

To sis
For being my sis
For Good Morning Jesus
For protein shakes
For knowing me more than I know myself sometimes

To Goon Homie
For constantly reminding me why we're homies
For being a female me
For Kanye's verse in "I Put On"
For "It's Good"

To Karate Man
For showing me that poetry and martial arts are one in the same
For proving its possible to be misunderstood by the masses
Yet still be the coolest thing ever

To RayMan
For teaching me the meaning of "Turn Up"
For homecoming at Livingston

To Lil Lady
For turning the world into a happy place
Where unicorns are transportation
And rainbows are roads

To Mooresville Main and Express Concord
For jokes and smiling faces
For second chances
For letting me lead

To OGMBC & SWAGGA
For saying "it's ok to be involved again"
For Friday Night Live
For "Jeremiah 29:11"

To Red @ 28th, Amelie's and Midnight Diner
For being my safe havens of peace
For solidifying that solitary confinement
isn't such a bad thing

To SlamCharlotte and Underground Railroad
For challenging my poetry
For humbling my spirit

To 25/20 and Zion Fitness
For motivating my engine
For screaming "PUSH!"

To Epicentre
For getting through to my head
that the party eventually ends

To H&M
For cookouts
For impromptus
For Boardwalk Billie's
For Nights At The Roundtable

To The Wolfpack
For not letting me be a one man wolfpack any longer

To Nerd Gang
For Game of Thrones
For video games
For Heroes Aren't Hard To Find

To Mime Gang
For The Brotherhood
For The Sisterhood too I guess
For a comfortably uncomfortable lifestyle

To Chuck Norris Gang
For letting everyone know who eats
a bowl of awesome with a glass of badass
for breakfast

To Black Hollywood
For inspiring a flame from miles away
For #DriveThru

To Love
For not allowing me to leave you out of this one
For your impact
For trying again
For introducing me to 85% of the friends I've made here
For Atlanta and Virginia
For your Grandpa
For Ryan Leslie and Lecrae
For your smile
For heartache
For my rebirth
For Love

To Smallville
For missing me as much as I missed you
For surviving Sandy although I wasn't there to protect you
For understanding why Metropolis was the move
For staying relatively and sweetly the same every time I visit
For my friends I call family
For Bro
For Mom
For Pop
Yeah definitely for Pop

Lastly

To you Greg
For learning how to be Clark Kent
For filling your notebook
For letting patience be a close friend again
For the Greg Shrug
For smiles
For tears
For struggle
For laughter
For growth
For continuous growth
For Greg 2.0
For enrolling
For deciding to save the world one youth at a time
For changing
For transforming
For still remaining Greg
For making me proud of you for the first time in a long time

I thank you
All of you
For helping me see
How much of beautiful life
Can fit
In one year

Heart "Beat"

Can you hear it?

Place a temple to my upper torso
Let life rain into the holes on either side of your head
Dope beat, ain't it?
Give the drummer some
That bass be knocking from behind the cage

Can you dig it?

"Six feet under" type groove
But there's no "Night of the Living Dead" here
Only life
Breaths sing hymns here
Limbs dance wickedly here
Minds stay open even when eyes are closed here
Smiles are the catalysts of peaceful chaos
and as long as you continue to show me pleasant teeth
I will forever scream a whisper to you that exclaims
"Revolution"

Can you feel it?

Comparable to a baby's kick from within the womb
The touch of it sends a shockwave of party
throughout your nervous system
Keep your head pressed against your future
Keep your head pressed against a reflection of your past
Keep your head pressed against the presence of the present
I present my present of eternal to you

They say the baby grand piano
that plays in between your lungs
happens to be the same size
as a left jab and a right hook
I guess this means
I'm giving the equivalent of my two fists to you
And I have exceptionally large hands

Can you see it?

Let your eyes dance to it
Gaze upon every jump of it like they're bursting fireworks
Let the notes stream through your veins
Let every riff make hairs stand
Let the modulations take your body
where only kindred spirits float

Listen to my heartbeat

The song it plays
was produced and engineered
in inspiration
of you

How To Fly

Trust yourself
Spread wings
Open capes
Cliffhang

Jump

Throw your keys
Let pain seep through your fingers
Take risks
Murder your insecurities
Turn off your phone
Keep your tray in whatever position you like
Check your baggage

Make conversation with a person prettier than you

Know God

Jump

Write
Eat
Drink
Sleep
Repeat

Spend your own money
on something or someone else
other than yourself
Turn a friend into family
Kiss your dad and
Call your mother "mommy"
even after you turn 30

Pull up your pants
Loosen your tie
Buy a pocket watch
Untie your shoes
Wear jeans and heels
Leave the Freak'um Dress at home

Tell the truth
Read
Smile
Exercise
Whisper
Hold onto a pen for as long as possible

Become Freedom

Try weed at least 3 times in your lifetime
Don't get addicted.... To anything
Buy a stranger's groceries
Give a girl a hairtie
Write your number on a napkin

Listen to jazz
Get a record player
and put on the vinyl of
The Love Below
Slow dance in the middle of your bedroom

Love
Love
Love
Love unconditionally
Love someone as much as they do you

Sleep
Dream
Wake up on the wrong side of the bed
with a smile on your face
Dunk like Jordan
on whatever your rim might be

Scream "#DRIVETHRU!"
Speak Life
Complete a "Greg Shrug"

Breathe
Stand
Cliffhang
Love
Pray

Jump

Trust yourself

Trust God

Spread wings
Open capes

Be Superman

Take flight

Ricky Bobby Interview

She stands there
looking like Hillary Banks
A goddess
with no intelligence
So dumb
you have to pronounce the B at the end
Nevertheless
she is my friend
with curves that light up men's alleyways
I might be the only one to know her best curves
are the ones on her face
All of em
Even when she doesn't smile
I'm clearly infatuated with every part of her

Except when she stands there
Looking like Ricky Bobby
in his first interview
and says

"I'm not quite sure what to do with my hands"

She did more than just drop the ball
Chick thought we were playin soccer
And you know how low scoring a match can be
My team got shut out so much
My mornings started to look like replays
of the opening scene of
40 Year Old Virgin
At night I'd trade stares between a screen
filled with dancing flesh
and a bottle of lotion
Saying

"I'm not quite sure what to do with my hands"

I was doing squats
while holding the Olympic bar
that was our relationship
on the back of my neck
Horrible form
Before I knew it
I blew my back out
Trying to salvage something
that didn't exist
For anytime I asked her
to at least spot me
She would just stand there
And say

"I'm not quite sure what to do with my hands"

I don't know what's more frustrating
That or anytime she came to me crying
Anytime her debt outweighed her pockets
Anytime she didn't feel as beautiful as she is
Anytime she was lost
I'd put on my cape
Help her to her knees
And tell her to pray
She would just sit there
Arms imprisoned on her sides
And say

"I'm not quite sure what to do with my hands"

Fed up aren't the words
Exhausted isn't my mindframe
And disappointed will no longer
describe my heartbeats
I'm standing at a crossroads
with both grips on opposite ends of a wishbone
Screaming

"It's not about me being alone
It's about a chance for me to one day
dance with her while she's in white
and our song is being played by a band

But I'm not quite sure what to do with my hands!"

A voice has appeared now
from air fairly thin and says

"Lift them"

I say
"Much obliged"
Extend my palms
And walk away

Halitosis

Ok
You're gonna have to do us all a favor
And shut the fuck up

It's not that we don't wanna hear what you have to say
We just don't want to smell it

Oh I know
You love the things you consume
But the same shit you swallow
is the exact description of your exhalations

Shit
That's what I get a whiff of when you speak
So when I say your words smell like
you've been eating baby skunks
I mean you've got hog piss for breath
Please just refrain from responding
Spare me the adventure of having to bathe
in a tub full of tomato juice

You claim that peppermints and gum
are the cure to your ailment
But that sounds like a beaver
trying to hold the Mississippi
with a wooden dam

Unrealistic

I bet you have nightmares of being transparent
Don't you?
You afraid somebody might actually
listen, see, and care about you?

No?

See there you go again!
Talkin til ya tongue's brown
You ever notice
how many faces frown
anytime your lips separate?
It's like the gates of hell
got painted with a double coat
of kerosene

Just lock it all the way up

I guarantee you got the
cemetery scene from Thriller
playing on repeat
in the back of your throat
I'd be lying if I said
I hope you don't choke on
the pieces of feces you
try to feed people

I could just walk away from you
But for some reason
I still care about you
And I anticipate the day
you vocally stop shoveling fertilizer
because it'll mean greener pastures

It's either that or I give you
this pack of TicTacs of truth
and you empty the container into your soul
and never chew

Say what you mean
Mean what you say
Stop taking shots of Sex Panther
And relieve yourself of your duties
of being a bullshitter

Prompt With Josh

I'm trying to keep my eyes clean

Not saying I want to go fully Ray Charles
To the things I see
But maybe Stevie Wonder
Blind in appearance
But underneath the shades
I can see just fine

My glasses are a filter
Sifting through the hate and lies
Allowing people to sympathize
What seems to be pain

Is it really a roux?
Is it a hoax?
Pretending to be blind to the b.s.
But actually fully grasping
the concept of the world today
Acting as if everything is alright
regardless of a condition that
appears to be there but isn't
in my eyes anyway
Giving hope to the blind
The naive

That's debatable

But I just want to keep my eyes clean

From: Her / To: Me (Love Letter)

I love how weird I thought you were when I met you
Not because of your personality or anything
but because you like to cuddle

Also
I really love your poetry

I love the way you hold my hand
I love when you kiss my forehead
I love when you give me you jacket if I'm cold
I love when you let me take naps
for as long as I like
and if I do fall asleep
you always manage
to take my glasses off
without waking me

I love how much you love music
and how you know the words
to every song released before
the year 2000
I love how much you love comic books
and superheroes
and how you secretly want to be one
(I'm sorry, You ARE one!)

And I really love your poetry

I love that you want my opinion on your clothes
but you'll still wear
a Game of Thrones or Looney Tunes t-shirt
regardless of what I say
I love how silly you are at anytime
but you still know exactly
when to be serious

I love how you can be so selfless
in a world that's so selfish
How all your friends love you
How all my friends love you
How my parents call you their second child
the son they never had
Actually it creeps me out, it's disgusting
Stop it...
Stop being so damn adorable
I love how you can't help that

But I really love your poetry

I love how you're ok with a healthy amount
of our relationship being based on food
That you let me (keyword: let me)
be a better cook
That you accept my grumpiness
when I haven't eaten
and that you love when I refer to myself
as "The Baby" when this occurs

I love that you are willing to spend
your last dime on me...
Especially when "The Baby" is hungry

I love the sacrifices
the changes you've made for me
How you enjoy reality TV with me
(yes, a select few shows, I know)
How you used to be scared of dogs up
until we had our own
and even after she was gone
you still want another
(We are not naming your beagle Shiloh... smh)
You even changed the way you wear your hats
just for me
just because I found it sexy

I love the little things
Like how you make cups of tea
the way you look at me when I'm getting ready
when you give me the tiniest onion ring from your plate
how you console me
even when I don't want you near me
because you know it's what I need

But most of all
I love your poetry
I don't exactly mean your creative use of words
I mean the way you love me
the things you do for me

You have turned me
into one of your
Grand Slam winning pieces
And I want you to
Please just
allow your heart
to keep beating
to keep writing
for me

Forever

Seat Next To You

You mind if I take this seat next to you?

I've actually been meaning to speak with you
I think I've spent more time trying to figure out
the reasoning behind our separation rather
than trying to actually reach you
Which is pretty much what i'm trying to do now
Reach you
through cotton candy cumulus and supernovas

I've just wanted a seat next to you
as if you were the cool kid in class
everyone flocked to

I kinda have a confession
I used to mimic you
I wanted to be like you so much that
I bathed myself in the fragrance of your words
so that anytime I spoke
it would smell like something you would say
For some reason you were completely ok with this

Your confidence was uncanny
Somehow you knew
that following you
was completely the right thing
for me to do
Although it was impossible
for anyone to match you
you were flattered
by the attempts of imitations
The limitations of life
couldn't confine you
You were unique
and I'm sure you still are

There was a point when we were close right?
Best friends?
Brothers even...
Some might say we were becoming the same person
A shielded bond
Impenetrable, indestructible from the outside
The only way this machine could have malfunctioned
was from a glitch within the wires
which is exactly what happened

I got distracted

There were so many lights
Flashing, dancing
spinning, caressing
lights
I became unfamiliar with what yours looked like

I can't even say I was displeased or sickened
by your look of disappointment in me
I didn't get a chance to see it
For anytime I looked at myself
in the mirror your existence
was missing

I need you to listen to me now

This is more than an apology
More than plea
This is two knees, two open palms
a stomach and a face
on the floor
This is me finally receiving the blueprints
to my life that was wrapped in a package
unopened at my front door

This is for you

My ode, my sonnet
My song of sacrifice to you

Thank you
for being the defibrillator
that recharged my smile
for being the ink my pen bleeds out
when the flow of my emotions clot
for being the lone whisper of reason
that I can make out
when I'm stuck in a room
full of banshees

I thank you
for showing me that you're real
That I'm not stupid for believing in you
But I might be a little for neglecting you

I just wanna sit next to you again
That's all

No gimmicks, no prolonged services
No miracle water from "TV-evangelists"
No misplaced sense of judgement
No ulterior money making motives

Just you
please

Grant me the serenity to not allow
remnants of closed books, empty pockets
broken bottles, butted blunts
and boxes of condoms
to forever be my legacy

I need to breathe peacefully again

and I know that starts with
you and I going back
to being friends

So, how bout it huh?

I can already see that my name
is still etched into that chair
that sits beside your throne

So, if it pleases you
I think I'll take my seat now,
next to You

Uncertain Pt. 2 (The Unknown)

The "Unknown"

That's what you're afraid of...

Right?

Not being sure of what's to come next
Lost without GPS
Out of the loop
Last page of the book ripped out
Final scene of the movie cut

I get it

Endings are essential for you

The definite outcome of events
are more important than
the events themselves

Trust, I know
It's not easy cycling
the Tour De France
and winning
if you're unaware of the
twists and turns
the race has to offer

But that's why you live
because as much as you would
love to throw in the world's face
that you have complete control of things
You really don't
and it's ok

Life is only your puppet by so much

Especially when it comes to love

See that?
Love is living in the unknown

Acknowledging that there's a risk
in the collaboration taking
an unexpected turn
into an unfamiliar and unpleasant realm
Yet still understanding that
despite this risk
regardless of this chance
the butterflies
the dreams
the sparks
the bliss
all of it
makes it
worth it

Trust it

Welcome that uneasy feeling
that makes you think twice on
whether or not
you should dive into this pool
It's cool, I do the same thing sometimes
But my answer to
"Are you sure?
Do you want this?"
never changes
But if i'm asked
"Does she?"

See, that's where I'm uncertain

That's where I think of closing curtains
at mediocre Broadway play
followed by a soft symphony
of cricket chirps and golf claps

That's a bit of a problem for me

I feel like love and uncertainty
should rarely be mentioned
in the same sentence
So pardon me
for having blood thinners
running through the I.V.
that's connected to my patience

Love is embracing your faith

It's embracing the belief that although
every once in a while may be healthy,
taking weekly breaks aren't really necessary
The belief that a tiny bit of selfishness
and a whole lot of generosity
can co-exist in harmony
The belief in the fact that the effort put into
true friendships, relationships, and marriages
aren't 50/50
It's 100 and 100 from both parties equally

All I ever wanted
since I met you
was to just be happy with you
and you with me
But it seems we're reading different books
Forget being on the same page

I'm exhausted
I'm tired
I'm tired of treading water
waiting for you to swim to me
while you are frozen in terror
standing only knee deep

I had no idea uncertainty was contagious
until the day I was diagnosed doubtful
of whether or not you can be called my world
any longer

I don't want to be scared of the unknown like you

I love you

But I guess that's the problem
It's happiness
It's passion
It's heaven
It's love

The "Me"

That's what you're afraid of...

Right?