A Heartfelt Welcome

To those of you who call me friend, those of you that call me love, those of you who call me brother, those of you that call me son, those of you who call me hero, & those of you who don't know me at all: I welcome you to the mind of a man who's destined to save the world...
1 word at a time.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Write About Me

I hate it when girls
Ask me

"Can you
write something about me
Please?"

"Will you
scribble something you feel
In pertaining to me?

"Would you
recite something you think
In reference to me?"

Inspiration isn't forced
Its given
So its highly difficult
To be driven
With a thought for a poem
That's not premeditated or
"Pre-Written"

But I'll do it anyway
Regardless of what you say
I'll never be able to live up
To what is wanted
any day

What do you want me to say?

You want me to talk about you
Ok I got that boo
But what's deeper than just you

You want the truth?

That I may miss you
That I sometimes reminisce
Kissing you
Talking to you
Holding you
Walking with you

Or can you not handle that?

Would you rather I say this?

That you were stupid
That I wish I was never hit
Smack dab in the middle
Of my emotions
With an arrow
Sent from cupid
That you missed out
On the illest kid
Known on the planet

Or something different?

Like how you're a good friend
Like how although I'm not attracted to you
but I love your smooth skin
Like how you send
My face a grin
And the ends
Of my mouth
Then suspend
In opposite directions
Like how I couldn't resist you then
can't resist you now
And probably never will again

How bout this?
You are a woman of resilience
Persistance
A woman of resistance
And dominance

A woman of trust
A woman of lust
A woman made of the stuff
Of legend
A heroine

A woman so special
I'd rewind time
So then
You could be somehow mine
Again

Does this suffice?
Was I right?
Did this poem do everything & more
Than what you might
Have thought before?

I hope so
If not
My b
But try & do this favor for me

Put yourself in my shoes please
try to solve a simple complexity
And

Write About Me

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Beasts

Man My head hurts
I can barely breathe
My glasses are always fogging up
So I can't see
I'm shaking uncontrollably
I'm sweating profusely
And the thing that's funny
Its only Tuesday

This occurs
on a day to day basis
My face is
constantly changing
Showing all the emotions
That are racing
From my brain
And my heart
To the surface

It hurts to be like this
Uncontrollable
Irresponsible
Irrational
Unpredictable
Unthinkable

I keep these beasts
Locked away
So that at least
Nobody will have to die today

This is not who I am

Until the liquid courage
Is poured into my system
Causing the bars
Of the cage holding my emotions
To melt into a pile of porridge

These are not your average monsters

Armed to the teeth
With wings and claws
They tower over me
Power over me

Now set loose,
My thoughts
My heart
My soul
My love
My hurt
My truth
Run rapidly

Dropping incoherent
Yet intelligent
Bombs on
All terrorists
trying to use fear as weapon
All important polticians
using their influence
as a means to be sefish
& all innocent bystanders
that happen to be
at the wrong place
And the wrong time

In due time the beasts tire
Go weary and go back into their cage
Awaiting with rage
For the book titled
"Dates of Releasing"
To turn to the next blank page

So that there's a new entry
What they don't realize
Is my plan of genocide. See,
although my emotions make me,
they brake me

So these beasts must not be released
Not without proper supervision at least
They must then be
Led back to the the cage
To be put to death
Daily

Only then

can I

save me

From me

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Metaphorical Whore

You disgust me
With your selfishness
And no regards to the
Welfare or care
For the wealth
Of a human being

You are ugly
With your resilience
To constantly
Manipulate
The influence
And when, where, how
Even the very amount you allow
people to participate
In your life

Trife aint the word

You're a whore
Well
speaking metaphorically
You're a slut
Um
Not sexually
You're a b*tch
Ok maybe
I meant that literally
But I mean more so mentally

Close your legs
I mean
Open your mind
Stop giving others
A taste of the real you
Only for favors

Protect your body
I mean
Release your heart
Start by playing
An essential part
in someone's life
Other than yours

Watch your mouth
I mean
Search your soul
Don't grow old
Walking over everybody
Lending a helping hand

Because one can't
Continue to balance themselves
On the backs of man
By yourself
You will never stand

Understand I'm not
Trying to dishonor
Or degrade you
But the more
You continue
To be a metaphorical whore
The better the chance
There's someone out there
plotting their revenge
To rape you

I want to help you
Reverse your mental health
And I want show you
Your souls wealth
And most of all
I want to save you
From yourself

If this doesn't stop
There will be a homicide/suicide
1 death of 2 entities
But as I look at you
Staring back at me
I realize our eyes
Are locked on
The same thing
I'm staring at myself

Only my selfishness
Is for you to be here
All in
And yours
Is Just for everyone else to be
At your every
Beck & calling
Knowing that as soon
As they shove you
Off your pedastal
only I can catch you
And stop you
From falling

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Detox

I don't want to be here
But I have to be
In order to save myself
I am here

You can still hear me
Days later
From when I was first being dragged
By my hands & feet
Kicking & screaming
Across the street
Into the car
Driven far into
The middle of nowhere
Until I ended up
Here

The reason why I'm here is
I still have the same hallucinations
That I'm ok
That my life's supposed to stay
This way
That she's supposed to be the one
That I'm supposed to
work here
Live there
And actually care
For other people's welfare

"It's hell here"
I've already got it in my head
That
To the world I must be dead

I'm going to rehab... yes
I can see it now
My body rejects the process
So I'm being held down
By the people that are only
trying to help
But my mind refuses them

The drugs are so potent
They got me wanting those same saviors to supply me with more
Of the thing that
Ablitterates my dreams & hopes
So in the needle goes
To sedate
And keep my mind & body straight

Standing outside the gates
My brain gets brusied
From the epiphany that hits
I've got to get this
Long extended list
Of Sick &
Twisted
Illnesses
Out my
System.
Its
Killing me
To care so much about
What happens
Around me
Without reciprocity

Detox is the process I need
To be rid of the intoxications
That slowly destroy me
The anger
The happiness
The frustration
The sadness
The jealousy
The gladness
The hate
The love
gotta leave

So excuse me
While I walk into
My destiny
To rearrange my life
So I can tell the difference
Of what's fantasy
And what's reality

Because honestly

This hiatus

Just might be

The thing to save

Me

You

And Us

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Fairy Tales

She hops in the bed
Wearing her matching
Pink PJs
After a night of her favorites

Pizza
Ice Cream
Disney Movies

Giddy and giggly
she awaits
For her mother to walk in
So she can be tucked in

"Mom I'm ready!"
She says

A woman battered down
By her sleepless nights
And turmoil-filled days
Comes into the room
And is consumed
By the laughter of her child
She struggles
But she smiles
When she sits aside the edge
Of the bed

"Ok, what do you wanna hear tonight?
A short story?
A lullaby?
Or just 'good night'?"

The little lady's face
Turns straight
Thinking as if she was makin an executive decision
As if she's 25 years older
Than her age of 8

"Mommy," she states
"I know you're not married
But I want to know if
fairy tales are real"

What "mommy" feels
At this point
Is surreal
Unreal
Unexpected
This type of response wasn't detected in the radar

She doesn't want to sell her daughter
Broken dreams
Falsehood faiths
Lyrics of Lies
Ties to Trouble

So she doubles her breath
And says "sure sweetheart"
Omitting the details
The ugly parts

The part where the princess
Actually misses
out on "Prince Charming"

The part where the bad guy gets the girl

The part where women are the villain

The part where it doesn't work out

The part where the "Good Guy" gives his lady a black eye

The part where the king and queen shout their arguments out then never make up and have their own business to go about

The part where the hero is right in front of the damsel in distress's face but all she states is

"I'm not ready"

The part where nothing changes
Yet nothing is steady

The part where there is no glory

The part where she completely omits her own story

Mom knows somewhere down the line
She will hear in time
"This is what you told me
Why am I cold & lonely?"

But she's leaves that out the conversation
Because of the elation
In her daughters face
"I'm gonna have me a prince charming! I can't wait"

Mom turns out the light
Walks into her bedroom
Goes to the bathroom
And looks in the mirror
Her reflection looks serious

She dreads the effect
Of what she's just said
Rubs her face
Puts her hands on the side
Of her head
And says

"Why didn't you
Tell her the truth?
That fairy tales do
Come true
But not in real life
In reality
You don't realize who
Your happily ever after is
Until its gone on account
Of you"

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Returns & Exchanges

What's your return policy?
Can I do whatever compels me?
Can I believe anything you tell me?
Can I take whatever you throw at me?
"We're not really having this argument
Are we?"
"I care about you,
Can't you see?"

Non-refundable??

Oh so, now we're just even exchangin
Back & forth
In a pool of emotions & thoughts
We swimmin in
This is life
We're supposed to be livin in
I'm givin in
I can't take it
You win again
I don't wanna hurt you
Like I did when I said the truth

"Wait,
Can I take that back?"
"I shouldn't have said that"
"I wouldn't have done that"
"I couldn't have meant that"

Now
Black
Is the color of souls
Red
Is the color of eyes
Green
Is the color of skin
White
Is the color of minds

It's time
To either return what's been given unto you
Or keep what's been hidden into you
Funny thing is
You think you've got the receipt
Wrong boo

I do