A Heartfelt Welcome

To those of you who call me friend, those of you that call me love, those of you who call me brother, those of you that call me son, those of you who call me hero, & those of you who don't know me at all: I welcome you to the mind of a man who's destined to save the world...
1 word at a time.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Deafening Existence

"Your life is never quiet"

That's what one of my "big sisters"
told me after I gave her a brief rundown
of all the things that's occurred
within the past month
of us not speaking

"It's been a doozy, sis"

I wasn't lying when I said that

It's been a month full of circus antics
Count 'em all
7/7s, 6 overdraft fees
only 5 days of pure peace
4 new phone numbers obtained and deleted
3 hearts broken (including my own)
2 close calls that could've landed me in prison
and 1 night of prayer
and I still have 0 answers

I just want my life to be quiet again

I've been trying to think of the last time
I danced to silence

My mom tells people I was a good baby
I didn't wake her
in the middle of the night with screams
I was a "happy baby"
in her eyes
and everyone else's apparently

Through adolescence & puberty
things stayed pretty mute for me
for the most part
I wanna say it was senior year
of high school when I first
embraced my loud

"To all you b***ches
that didn't want to give me the TIME OF DAY
WHEN I WAS HALFWAY TO OBESE:

SCREW YOU!
OH NOW I'M SEXY?!?!?
KILL YOSELF!"

From then on
I was as loud as the
parties and clubs
I lived in
"CAN I GET A LONG ISLAND?? A LONG ISLAND!!!
A... A L.I.T.!?!? OH NOW YOU HEAR ME!"

Still shouting
even in my poetry
My haiku (as rare as they come)
ring like middle school fire alarms
for example:

GOD IS LOVE, IF TRUE
NO WONDER YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
BE A ONE NIGHT STAND

I WISH I COULD TAKE THE HAND
OFF THE TRIGGER OF THE MEGAPHONE
IN MY SOUL
I DON'T WANT TO BE LITTLE GIRLS
SCREAMING ON THAT ONE RIDE
IN THE AMUSEMENT PARK
I DON'T WANT MY LIFE
TO BE GUNSHOTS AND JET ENGINES
I WANT MY EXISTENCE
to be the moment you see
a firework burst
before you hear
the bang

It's time to be meek
I have to be quiet
My life must become a whisper

Is there any way
I can change my name
to "prayer"?

1 comment:

  1. This is so dope. From the extended metaphor to the countdown. Good work my friend.

    "I just want my life to be quiet again

    I've been trying to think of the last time
    I danced to silence"

    I like these lines a lot.

    ReplyDelete