Seat Next To You

You mind if I take this seat next to you?

I've actually been meaning to speak with you
I think I've spent more time trying to figure out
the reasoning behind our separation rather
than trying to actually reach you
Which is pretty much what i'm trying to do now
Reach you
through cotton candy cumulus and supernovas

I've just wanted a seat next to you
as if you were the cool kid in class
everyone flocked to

I kinda have a confession
I used to mimic you
I wanted to be like you so much that
I bathed myself in the fragrance of your words
so that anytime I spoke
it would smell like something you would say
For some reason you were completely ok with this

Your confidence was uncanny
Somehow you knew
that following you
was completely the right thing
for me to do
Although it was impossible
for anyone to match you
you were flattered
by the attempts of imitations
The limitations of life
couldn't confine you
You were unique
and I'm sure you still are

There was a point when we were close right?
Best friends?
Brothers even...
Some might say we were becoming the same person
A shielded bond
Impenetrable, indestructible from the outside
The only way this machine could have malfunctioned
was from a glitch within the wires
which is exactly what happened

I got distracted

There were so many lights
Flashing, dancing
spinning, caressing
lights
I became unfamiliar with what yours looked like

I can't even say I was displeased or sickened
by your look of disappointment in me
I didn't get a chance to see it
For anytime I looked at myself
in the mirror your existence
was missing

I need you to listen to me now

This is more than an apology
More than plea
This is two knees, two open palms
a stomach and a face
on the floor
This is me finally receiving the blueprints
to my life that was wrapped in a package
unopened at my front door

This is for you

My ode, my sonnet
My song of sacrifice to you

Thank you
for being the defibrillator
that recharged my smile
for being the ink my pen bleeds out
when the flow of my emotions clot
for being the lone whisper of reason
that I can make out
when I'm stuck in a room
full of banshees

I thank you
for showing me that you're real
That I'm not stupid for believing in you
But I might be a little for neglecting you

I just wanna sit next to you again
That's all

No gimmicks, no prolonged services
No miracle water from "TV-evangelists"
No misplaced sense of judgement
No ulterior money making motives

Just you
please

Grant me the serenity to not allow
remnants of closed books, empty pockets
broken bottles, butted blunts
and boxes of condoms
to forever be my legacy

I need to breathe peacefully again

and I know that starts with
you and I going back
to being friends

So, how bout it huh?

I can already see that my name
is still etched into that chair
that sits beside your throne

So, if it pleases you
I think I'll take my seat now,
next to You